I Pledge My Allegiance

I'm not a soccer fan, but I am a sports fan.  Even though I don't follow any particular team, I can chip myself out of hibernation to root for somebody in that playoff, quarter final, or championship game.

Now we are in the midst of the FIFA World Cup.  Americans are famous for their ignorance of the world's favorite sport, even to the extent that we have a different name for it.  Nevertheless, like many big sporting events, I am following.

With international events, I tend to root for (1) the Americans, (2) the Italians (I do have a red passport in addition to my blue one), and (3) the underdogs.  With soccer, it isn't hard to root for the Italians since they win the World Cup every few years.  Sometimes I'm embarrassed by their theatrics, but then again, we wouldn't be Italians if we didn't go over the top.

This year, the Americans and Italians were eliminated early.  I was disappointed for the Americans, mostly because this means that American interest in the World Cup is going to drop significantly now.  But also, I was surprised by the Italians.  What happened to those guys?  They won last time.  I can only conclude that in their cockiness, they forgot how to to play soccer.

Anyway, now as we push through each round of the tournament, I am forced to change my allegiances frequently, especially since the teams I'm rooting for keep losing.

My first rule is to root for the Europeans, unless they are the Germans.  One look at my red passport shows over a dozen languages for the  European Union--it's not hard to pick one.  I just can't bring myself to back the Germans, though.  They are the absolute opposite of Italians.  No emotion, just cold, hard precision.   I'm especially troubled when I look at the German team, which plays with technical perfection.  They look like little soccer machines.  Whatever they decide to do, those Germans are very good at it.

I tend to root against the South Americans, because they are the most successful winners of the World Cup over time.  Here I invoke rule #3--root for the underdogs, and root against the favorites.  But if it's a South American country against the Germans--I'll go with South America.  And if two South American countries play each other--I'll root for the better team, more likely to beat the Germans.

If an Asian or African country is playing, I cross my fingers for those guys (unless they're playing Americans or Italians).  So--Uraguay vs. South Korea?  I rooted for South Korea (they lost).   Japan vs. Paraguay?  I rooted for Japan, and of course they lost.

In the quarter finals, three of the matches are a European team vs. a South American team.  Whereas previously I had rooted against Ghana, now I am rooting for them--to beat the Uruguay team and also keep an African team in the tournament.

Confused yet?  I am.  Every day my allegiances change as the teams I root for get eliminated from the World Cup tournament.  I can't take my likes and dislikes too seriously.  However, I worry that the final game will be Brazil vs. Germany.  Brazil is the absolute opposite of underdog, and Germany is, well, it's Germany.  I suppose I should add a fourth rule to my allegiance policy--anyone but Germany.

Maybe I should pick my teams next time by the color of the flag.  Does anyone have purple?